Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
