Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
