I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
