Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
