I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
