Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
