I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
