I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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