so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
