You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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