There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
