I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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