I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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