Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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