Please, let me fuck your mom
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
