True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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