We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
