My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
