the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
