Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
