ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
