I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
