Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
