Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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