she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
