tell your sister to shave her snatch
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You need Xanax blowdarts
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
