Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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