MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
