i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
