but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
