So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
