im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
