my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
