Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
