I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
