They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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