2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
