Pregnant stripper...not hot.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
