I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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