I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
