She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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