erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
