I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
