super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
