Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
