goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
