i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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