you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
