In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
