What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
