so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
